#anyways. yeah. it was super fun to write and thank you anyone who decides to read it

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Hermit-A-Day Day 14: Groups and Collabs

A reminder that my Hermit A Day series are all both individual bits of writing and also supplemental material for my fic Glitch!

Today will be slightly different from the others due to the nature of the prompt!

@hermitadaymay

Interviews on the apparent existence of a Fight Club on Hermitcraft 10, transcribed by the Admin.

Interview 1: Ethoslab

Ethoslab: Xisuma, I really don’t get what the big deal is. It’s not like PvP is illegal on the server. We do it all the time.

The Admin: What’s confusing to me is that you all decided to keep it a secret. I’d like to know what’s going on on my server, Mr.Slab.

Ethoslab: Dang, Mr. Slab. You’re serious about this? Alright, what do you want to know?

The Admin: Can you describe to me how you got involved with this ‘Fight Club’?

Ethoslab: Well that’s easy. Pearl invited me.

The Admin: You were just invited? No special initiation or anything?

Ethoslab: Well, she sent me something in the mail to come meet her at her base. Then when I got there, we fought. She had a whole arena set up for a mace fight, platforms and bouncy pits and armor stands. Super impressive. She won most of the rounds but I won a couple and that was enough to let me in.

The Admin: Where in her base? I don’t think I’ve seen an arena like that when I’ve been.

Ethoslab: Oh dude it’s so cool. It’s in the ballroom. She like, flicks a switch and everything comes out. The whole middle of the floor transforms. You could go in there and not even notice it’s an arena.

The Admin: I certainly didn’t. And do you have an arena at your base? Have you initiated anyone?

Ethoslab: Nah, I haven’t gotten around to it. I’m planning on using fishing rods though, eventually.

The Admin: So you don’t all use maces?

Ethoslab: Uh no, I don’t think so. Pearl said they all have their own. I haven’t seen the others’ yet.

The Admin: Alright, I think that’s everything then. Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Slab.

Ethoslab: Never call me that again.

~Interview Ended~

Interview 2: Pearlescentmoon

The Admin: Do you know why you’re here, Ms. Moon?

Pearlescentmoon: No, not really. And why are you calling me Ms. Moon? That’s weird, dude.

The Admin: I’ve invited you here to interview you in an official capacity about the Fight Club. As your admin.

Pearlescentmoon: Dang it. Who told you?

The Admin: Mr. Slab did. He described your ‘arena’ in great detail and the initiation process.

Pearlescentmoon: Aw nuggets, alright. What do you want from me then?

The Admin: I would like to know how you got involved. Mr. Slab only said your name in his interview.

Pearlescentmoon: I guess it can’t hurt, I’m not great at keeping it a secret anyways. Cubby invited me.

The Admin: I see. And was the process similar to Mr. Slab’s initiation?

Pearlescentmoon: You’re being so weird. Just say Etho.

The Admin: This is an official interview.

Pearlescentmoon: I know you just call us our names on files and stuff. I think you’re just trying to be a big bad admin because it’s fun.

~Pause in the interview~

The Admin: Anyways, Ms. Moon, was your initiation process similar to Mr. Slab’s?

Pearlescentmoon: Fine, alright. Yeah, pretty much the same. He invited me by opening a private channel in the chat. Then I went to his base. Cub has his arena all hidden, but there’s a calibrated skulk sensor you can activate that opens it up. It’s a two floor arena with bubble elevators at the corners and a bunch of copper blocks to use for cover and hiding. It’s pretty tight but big enough to move around quickly. It’s easy to lose people in it.

The Admin: And the weapon? It’s not maces too, then, if it’s so cramped.

Pearlescentmoon: Nah, Cubby’s weapon is fireworks in crossbows. I fought him for a few rounds and won a whole two times. I needed to prove that I was good enough to get in. That it was enough for me to get initiated.

The Admin: I see. Well I think that’s enough for me. Thank you for your cooperation, Ms. Moon.

Pearlescentmoon: Love you, ‘Suma. C’mon say it back. Say you love Ol’ Pearly.

The Admin: *sigh* Love you too, Pearl.

~Interview Ended~

Interview 3: CubFan135

CubFan135: Hey man, what’s up? You never have meetings in your office unless the sever’s about to explode. It’s not about to explode is it? I haven’t gotten any weird readings on my moon tracker.

The Admin: The server isn’t going to explode. Just sit down, Mr. 135. I have some questions.

CubFan135: Oh I like that. Can you do Mr. Fan though? The numbers are superfluous.

The Admin: *sigh* Alright, Mr. Fan. I wanted to know a bit about the ‘Fight Club’.

CubFan135: Never heard of it.

The Admin: Please don’t be difficult. Mr. Slab and Ms. Moon already told me everything. I know it exists and I know that you initiated Ms. Moon into the club personally. What I don’t know is how you got involved.

CubFan135: Fine, I guess if they already told you. I got invited by Gem.

The Admin: Right, and what’s her arena like? Was the initiation the same process as you gave Ms. Moon?

Cubfan135: Why do you want to know? We’re not breaking any server rules.

The Admin: I just like to know what’s going on my server, Mr. Fan. No one’s in trouble. PVP is perfectly legal.

Cubfan135: Hmph. I got invited by the mail, Gem sent it. She’s got the trident arena. And I mean, Gem’s arena is pretty great. It’s right under her base, you have to swim through a tunnel to get to it. Then you have to find a little opening and boom, you’re in the arena. It’s a pretty classic looking fighting ring except for the water columns on the corners and in the center and the water at the bottom. You’re supposed to use those with a riptide trident to kind of chase each other around the arena.

The Admin: Right, and you had to win a fight to get accepted?

Cubfan135: No, I don't think that was in the rules Gem told me. I mean we did a couple of rounds, I won one and Gem won one. But she never said I had to win to get invited. Did Pearl make it seem like she had to win to get invited? Me just showing her the arena was the invitation, I wouldn’t have not let her if she didn’t win. It’s not like I have a mind wiping device. Yet.

The Admin: Please don’t develop a mind wiping device.

Cubfan135: I make no promises. Innovation calls.

~Interview Ended~

Interview 4: Geminitay

The Admin: Have a seat Ms. Tay. I have a few questions about your ‘Fight Club’

Geminitay: Dang it! Who snitched? Was it Joel?

The Admin: Until now I didn’t even know Mr. Beans was in the Fight Club, so no. I’ve so far interviewed Mr. Slab, Ms. Moon, and Mr. Fan. Mr. Slab is who initially made me aware of the existence of the club. So far I have detailed descriptions of three of the arenas. All except Mr. Beans’ I guess.

Geminitay: Ugh I swear. These Hermits man, can’t keep a secret!

The Admin: You’re not in trouble, I just want to know what’s happening on my server, Ms. Tay.

Geminitay: I will do whatever it takes to get you to stop being weird and just call me Gem.

The Admin: These interviews have to be formal.

Geminitay: Ew, fine. Let’s make this quick then.

The Admin: Right, then. How were you initially made aware of the club, who invited you?

Geminitay: Joel invited me, it’s his club. He came up with it. I think maybe he didn’t realize we just have normal PVP battles and stuff all the time on Hermitcraft because he’s new? Or maybe he just likes being dramatic like all of the Hermits.

The Admin: Don’t look at me like that, I’m not being dramatic. This is perfectly normal formalities.

Geminitay: Right, totally normal. Anyways, so, yeah, he took me to a bar in his city and opened up a secret passage behind the bar tender. It leads into a sword fighting arena. It’s pretty cool, he used glass to make you feel really boxed in but still like you’re being watched. We fought for a while. He’s actually really good at PVP, don’t tell him I said that, but I think it was pretty even in the end. Then he told me he wanted me to invite one other person and to build my own arena. The rest you heard about, I guess.

The Admin: I have. So those are the official rules then? Once you’re invited you make your own arena and invite someone else? Anything else?

Geminitay: The first rule is actually don’t talk about Fight Club which we’ve all failed spectacularly. So congrats to us.

The Admin: I’m really not gonna tell anybody. I just have to interview Mr. Beans and then I’m done.

Geminitay: You better not. Can you stop calling me Ms. Tay now? It’s like, super weird.

The Admin: Alright let me just finish writing then.

~Interview Ended~

Interview 5: SmallishBeans

The Admin: Do you know why I invited you here, Mr. Beans?

Smallishbeans: Uh no, I don’t think I’ve done anything recently so.

The Admin: This is about your Fight Club.

Smallishbeans: I’m not in trouble am I? I read all the Hermitcraft rules when I joined, it didn’t say anything against PVP.

The Admin: You’re not in trouble. I keep having to tell you all that, wow. I’m not the principal of Hermitcraft, I just like to know what’s going on.

Smallishbeans: I mean, yeah if I’m not gonna get kicked out or anything, what do you want to know?

The Admin: No one is getting kicked out about this. PVP and PVP arenas are not only allowed but encouraged. I literally modified the world to let you keep players’ heads when they die, why would I do that if I didn’t want PVP?

Smallishbeans: So Cleo can make more armor stands and they would kill you if you limited their options.

The Admin: That is a plus. But anyways, I’ve heard all about the different arenas and the rules from the other members of the club. All I want to know from you, Mr. Beans, is why keep it a secret? You said it yourself, there’s nothing in the rules against PVP.

Smallishbeans: I guess like, right, it’s more cool that way? Like all the mystique and stuff. You get to make a cool secret passage way or try to hide it in plain sight the way Pearl did! And it’s more fun to fight in those custom arenas built just for one kind of weapon, because then people get creative with the actual landscape. Not so much for me, you can sword fight in pretty much any flat space, but the others. Gem had to work out those water columns and trouble shoot the armor and Cub had to work out how much cover was enough and make it advantageous both to stay on the ground and go up and Pearl figured out how to hide those pillars and pits and use decor like the chandeliers and the dancers to fight.

The Admin: So the attitude of secrecy adds to the drive for innovation?

Smallishbeans: Exactly! I wanted everyone to be able to get creative and I think it’s better to do that when there’s a little bit of mystery about it.

The Admin: I agree. I think what all of you have done is really cool. You did a good job, Mr. Beans. It’s your first season and you managed to make something that not only brought you all together, but that encouraged everyone to innovate and builds in ways they may not have before. I’m proud to call you one of my Hermits.

Smallishbeans: Aw man X you’re gonna make me cry. Please don’t write down that I’m crying. It’s actually really embarrassing.

The Admin: Maybe I should end the interview now then.

~Interview Ends~

[gaykarstaagforever]

TAS "Yesteryear"

I'm going to give a full plot synopsis with spoilers, here, because you're not going to ever watch this.

The plot of this one is that the Federation decides that screwing around some more with the Guardian on the Edge of Forever is a good idea. This despite how the last time they did this, High McCoy and Kirk's penis almost helped the Nazis win WWII. But Harlan Ellison didn't write this episode, so it will probably go a bit better.

Kirk, Spock and McCoy are again tasked to go through it, I guess because they're basically the experts on it? (Though McCoy was high at the time, so) They explore various times we don't get to see, including up to a mere 30 years earlier, for whatever reason anyone in the Federation needs to do that. When they get back, no one remembers who Spock is except Spock and Kirk, and the Science Officer aboard the Enterprise is an Andorian.

(The naked bird-person is Aleek-Om, an Aurelian Federation historian, because this is animated so we can have fun things like this. He doesn't really do anything, but it's the thought that counts. ...Also don't confuse the Aurelians with the El-Aurians, which is Guinan's race. Keep up, nerds.)

If no one remembers Spock and he was never aboard the Enterprise, that means that, despite being super-careful, Kirk and Co. have clearly changed the timeline AGAIN. So they look up Spock back on the Enterprise and find out that, while he WAS a person in this timeline, he DIED when he was 7. Also his mother later blew up in a shuttle accident. Just to rub it in.

That's when Spock randomly remembers that time he was 7 and the Vulcans made him battle giant monsters in the desert, because these people are real weird to their kids. He nearly died, but he was saved by his adult cousin, who, now that he thinks about it, looked suspiciously like Spock as an adult! But because Spock went back in time to the same time, but at another place, that deleted Adult Spock from 30 years ago on Vulcan, so Little Spock got eaten by Battle Cat.

Obviously, the only way to fix this is to send Spock back to 30 years ago on Vulcan, so he can be where he's supposed to be to save himself as a child, restoring the time paradox they accidentally time-paradoxed into another, different, time paradox.

Yeah. It's one of these.

Btw, this will "kill" the Andorian guy by restoring the previous timeline. But he tells Spock that Andorians value family above all else, so he's fine with dying if Spock gets his mom back. ...It kind of doesn't matter, because they were totally going to do this either way, but, thanks anyway, guy no one knows or cares about.

So Spock goes to Vulcan, 30 years ago. Which is the coolest part of the episode, because we actually get to see Vulcan, in all it's early 70s glory.

Pretending to be his own adult cousin, Spock goes to the home of Sarek and Amanda, where he witnesses Little Spock being bullied by the other little Vulcans for being half-human.

And they dressed the Vulcan kids like this in 1973, for reasons forever lost to time.

Sarek sees this happen too, but he lets it happen, then chastises Spock for being too emotional when he fights back and then cries about it. Because Sarek absolutely sucks as a father.

Not that Amanda is better as a mother. She's constant pressuring Spock to ignore Sarek and be more human. It's no wonder this guy has some dark stuff going on inside him.

Fuck the both of you, honestly.

Little Spock gets mad, because who wouldn't?, and decides to prove his Vulcan mettle by running out into the desert BEFORE his scheduled trial. Spock forgot that he did that, so wasn't prepared to follow him, so gets a late start going after him.

...Which is just enough time for Little Spock and his pet sehlat (yes, as mentioned in "Journey to Babel") to get attacked. The sehlat - who was actually Sarek's pet before Spock's and so is pretty old - manages to defend Little Spock long enough for Spock to get there and neck-pinch Battle Cat to death (I won't show you Spock strangling a tiger to death; the show, however, absolutely does).

But now the sehlat is dying of a toxic wound. Little Spock decides to go get a healer from the city to save it, and Spock says sure, me at 7, run across this vast desert hell by yourself to get the guy, I'll stay here and watch your beloved pet die.

Little Spock finds the healer, convinces him this isn't Little Spock pranking him again, and this guy flies them back out to the desert in his pink rocket car.

The healer looks at the sehlat and says he can't save it, it's too late. All he can do is treat it enough to keep it alive for awhile, but it will be in constant pain.

Spock, proving he takes after his father as a parental figure, convinces his child self that he should stop moping about his dying pet, man up, and let the healer euthanize it. Little Spock agrees, the healer KILLS THE GIANT LOVING TEDDY BEAR, and they all go back to the city.

Little Spock appears stoic now, doubtlessly in shock from the trauma. But both Spock and Sarek count this as a Vulcan win, and Spock comes back to the present, the timeline now restored.

DC Fontana wrote this, so it's as good as this material could possibly be. And the characterization of Spock and his parents is totally consistent with who they were in TOS, so that's okay. Unfortunately, that just makes them all look like cruel jackasses. Maybe that's just my human bias talking, but goddammit, guys. Vulcans are dicks. No wonder McCoy is always yelling slurs.

I still like this. It's a very DS9 / Voyager way of showing alien cultures, in that, yes, okay, everyone is actually pretty messed up, and no one has a perpetual moral high ground. It's just jarring to see that out of a TOS-era childrens' cartoon.

One that features half-naked children as racist bullies, and kills both a big snuggly dog-bear and a Space cat. Like, pump the breaks, 1973. This is probably why Gen X is like that.

Also Spock misremembering stuff that happened to him when he was 7 makes logical sense. But in the context of the show, it sort of makes him look like a moron who isn't taking this that seriously. Which is weird, because the whole reason he's doing any of this is to stop himself and his mother from being dead.

But the guy is CLEARLY a ball of unresolved childhood trauma, so maybe that explains it. How Gen X of him.

[roronoagem]

kinda like how you did coming out as gender fluid can you do one for coming out as trans???

characters: monster trio + nami + portgas d. ace + trafalgar d. water law

content warning: trans!reader (works for ftm & mtf as i’m not specific), general fluff + not proofread.

a/n: hello omg i’m so sorry (again), i hope you’ll like what i came up with >_< i didn’t specify if it was ftm / mtf also because you didn’t tell me . . ? so yeah it’s generic. i also decided to write for few of the strawhats, i hope your favs are there *fingers crossed* . . uuuh ENJOY <3

𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘.

luffy would be super supportive, using your new pronouns and name if you changed it.

if you decided to change or not, either way he would be there for you.

if he catches someone misgendering you on purpose / using your deadname / make fun of you, trust me they’re gone.

“so.. you still accept me?”

luffy would tilt his head to the side, confused by such doubt. “course i do! you’re my nakama and my lover!”

GETS A TRANS PIN AND PUT IT ON HIS SHIRT.

𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎.

you’d never catch this man slipping on your new name and pronouns.

silently grateful you trusted him enough to come out to him and would support you in any possible way.

lowkey threaten people who misgender you or keep using your deadname.

“thank you for trusting me. i’ll always love you, keep that in mind.”

and he makes sure to remind you this every single day.

doesn’t mind if you change or not, he loves you anyway !!

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈.

“i’m so happy you felt comfortable enough to tell me!” while hugging you really tight.

#1 supportive gf

hits / makes anyone pay when she catches them disrespecting you.

would remind you that she loves you and that you’re amazing.

i also think she would repeat that that you’re valid even if you decide to not change, if you’re struggling a bit that is.

and if you do decide to change, she’d be there for you at all times!

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈.

he feels so happy you trusted him and came out to him, being your true self.

and trust me he’s very supportive.

makes sure everyone around you respects you & uses your new pronouns / name.

would support you either way if you want to change or not.

there to constantly remind you that you’re amazing and he loves you for who you are, not your body !!

𝐀𝐂𝐄.

first of all, he’d feel his heart throb because you trusted him and showed him your true self.

he’s super supportive, starts using the right pronouns instantly and all.

“if someone mocks you, just tell me and they’re gone.”

he’s there to remind everyone to use the right pronouns and name.

gets trans pin and put it on his hat. 🙁

𝐋𝐀𝐖.

“thank you for trusting me, i appreciate it. i can inform the others if you want and… well, if you want to change just let me know.”

i genuinely believe he’d be the one there to help in that matter, if you want to change.

would probably cry (/pos) if you go to him.

makes sure no one uses your deadname / old pronouns and that you’re comfortable.

he too would get a trans pin >_< .

[heartsandstars46]

Half a world away

Under the Silver Lake!Sam x fem!OC

Angst, fluff, humor

CW: Deteriorating mental health, paranoia, cursing, mentions of guns and sex, allusions to danger and violence 

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: I had so much fun writing this?? I really wanted to explore how Sam might interact with a female character who had an actual name (!!), overlapping interests, and wasn’t just a sexualized object. Even if you haven’t seen Under the Silver Lake (and it is super weird, as reflected below), I think you might still enjoy the fluffy comfort aspects, humor, and ‘90s references. 🩷

Emily, a neighbor in the apartment complex, tries to connect with Sam as he becomes increasingly paranoid. Takes place during the events of UTSL.

I was standing on the balcony when I saw Sam go running through the courtyard in that gawky way he had. I still wasn’t sure what to make of him. My one friend in the complex had described him as a “harmless stoner weirdo,” but aside from some mix-ups with the mail, I hadn’t interacted with him much. He was cute, I guess, but definitely weird—and kind of jittery, especially lately. And watching him now, he looked terrified. I didn’t know why I was drawn to him—bird with a broken wing syndrome? That was usually what got me into trouble.

Since I had some of his mail anyway, I decided to just drop by and see what his deal was. I mean, it’s not like I had anything better to do. I didn’t have any “friends” yet in LA.

When I knocked on Sam’s apartment door, the response was a high-pitched yelp. Shit, was he hurt or something?

“Sam?” I called tentatively through the door. I knocked again. “Sam, it’s Emily, the girl whose mailbox is above yours? I’ve got a few more things for you.”

A brown eye appeared at the peephole in the door.

“Oh right, you.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Yeah, me. Sorry to disappoint.” On the plus side, the sooner he started annoying me, the sooner I could lose interest in him. Win-win. “Do you want your mail or not?”

I could hear him undoing multiple latches and locks and then he opened the door about a foot. “Yeah, thanks,” he said, breathlessly glancing over his shoulder. His face was paler than usual and his hair all disheveled. 

“Are you okay?” I then remembered the time I’d passed his apartment while he was, ah, very audibly entertaining some female company. Oh god, did he have a girl here now?

“Huh? What?” He asked.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah! Maybe. I don’t know.”

He looked over his shoulder again. Okay, he had to have a girl here. That was my cue.

“Cool, okay, well, see ya around.”

“No, wait!”

I turned back, surprised at the urgency in his voice. His eyes were darting around, and he was visibly sweating. I sighed, annoyed by a new realization. “Dude, are you high?”

“I fucking wish,” he muttered. “No, I just…” His voice dropped to even more of a whisper. “I think I’m being followed.”

“Ooookay. By who? Have you called the cops?”

“Why? They’re probably in on it!” He went wide-eyed. “And if they come here, what if they try to evict me again?”

Was he having some sort of mental breakdown?

“And they can’t know I have this now,” he whispered, pulling a gun from his waistband with shaky hands. Instinctively, I jumped back—nearly out of my body. 

“Jesus Christ, man!”

He looked at me with his wild eyes. “Emily. Emily, right? Emily, it’s all so fucked up.”

My ability to get involved in this crazy-ass shit? Yeah, it was fucked-up, all right.

“Sam, is anyone here with you?” I.E. what would the body count be if I couldn’t get this gun off him? Now I was sweating.

“No, no one’s here.”

“Okay, then can I come in?”

“No, no, the people following me, they’ll hurt you too.”

At the moment, I was more worried about him accidentally hurting me—or himself.

“I’ll take my chances,” I said, nudging him back into his apartment and closing the door behind me. “Can I see this?” Who in their right mind would give this dude a gun?

“My friend went missing, and I’m trying to find her, and everything’s fucking crazy! Nothing is what you think it is, Emily.” He leveled me with a look. “Nothing.”

“I believe you. Let me just…” I gingerly pried his fingers off the gun. “There we go, okay.”

“But I need that,” he whispered, his eyes terrified. “What if they find me?”

“Look,” I said, holding up the gun then putting it out of reach, my heart pounding. “It’s still here, but I don’t think either of us should be holding a loaded gun.”

“Oh, I don’t know if it’s loaded.”

“WHAT?” All diplomacy was out the window now. I glared at him. He started stammering.

“I mean, it might be, I just don’t know, I didn’t load it, and when I shot that other guy—“ 

“Whoa, whoa, stop talking!”

Sam looked hurt. “I’m sorry if I’m freaking you out—“

“No, I mean, stop talking because, plausible deniability, okay?”

“Oh. Yeah, good call.” He waved a finger at me. “You’re smart. Maybe you can help.”

“Sure, yeah, maybe. Can we sit down? Maybe in the living room.” Maybe further from the gun? “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“Yeah, yeah, in a sec.” 

I moved out of the way so he could redo all the locks and latches on his door. As he did that, my phone started ringing in my back pocket. Sam watched me intently as I pulled it out and took a look at the screen.

“Oh, it’s just my mom. I’ll call her back.”

“Wait, no, don’t stop it—I know that song. It’s… from a Nintendo game?” He somehow sounded both sure and uncertain at the same time.

I felt myself almost smile. “Oh, yeah. It is.” My ringtone ended, and I slid my phone back into my pocket.

“Super Nintendo?

“Indeed. Super Mario World.”

“Huh. Wait, are you into all that shit?”

“Uh, yeah. I grew up on all that shit. I used to destroy all the neighborhood boys at Mario Kart.”

“Ha!” He looked positively delighted. “Which one?”

“Super Nintendo first, obviously, then 64.” 

Well, this was proving to be a fruitful topic. I wondered if maybe he was unmedicated or sleep deprived, and not actually being followed.

“You know, I don’t know that I’ve ever played a girl at Mario Kart. The girls I grew up with were into, like, Barbies and shit.” He lit a cigarette and sat down on the couch. I took that as my invitation to sit too.

“Well, I was into Barbies too. I mean, come on! It was the ‘90s.”

He smiled fondly. “Yeah. We were all better off back then. Just playing video games and running around the neighborhood…..” His expression darkened. “Can’t do that anymore.” He offered me his cigarette. I waved him off.

“What do you mean? I see you’ve got your NES hooked up right over there.”

“No, I mean, if I go out, they try to kill me. If I stay home, they sneak in and try to kill me.”

I was really hoping there wasn’t actual truth to anything he was saying. I’d been trying to maintain a neutral facial expression, but it must have cracked, because he began stammering again.

“Sorry, you don’t have to stay here, it’s probably too dangerous.” 

“Well, full disclosure, I’m really here because I saw you run across the courtyard, and you didn’t look good. Sam, when was the last time you ate? Or slept?”

“There’s no time for that. My friend is missing.”

“You sound like a good friend, Sam. But even good friends deserve to eat and sleep.”

“She might be dead,” he whispered, and my heart nearly stopped. “She just… vanished. One night, we were watching movies, and the next day, she was gone.”

“Maybe she had to beat the rent or something,” I said hopefully. “Does that sound like something she’d do? You must know her pretty well.”

“No, I met her that night—the night we watched movies.”

Wait, what? Was the truth just that bizarre or was he in an actual state of delirium? I glanced around his living room for anything that might distract him—get him back to the calmer state he’d been in talking about Nintendo games. My eyes landed on a pile of magazines on the floor by his TV.

“Stop. You have your old Nintendo Powers?”

“Yeah?” he said, looking confused.

“Can I look at them? See which ones you have?”

“Yeah, sure. Wait, you know Nintendo Power?”

“Uh, yeah!” I knelt down beside the pile on the floor. “I was a subscriber myself. Oh my gosh, look, Nintendo 64 was just coming out. Wow.” I moved slowly through the magazines. “Ocarina of Time! Ah! Love of my life!” I hugged that issue briefly to my chest. “Dude, I remember some of these, like, legit! These covers are unlocking 20-year-old memories. Ah! This was one of my favorites! It had a walkthrough for Harvest Moon, and it sounded like just the best game ever, so I asked for it for my birthday.”

When I turned around, Sam was smiling wearily. He was obviously exhausted, which I took as a good sign.

“Harvest Moon, really?”

“What, were you all about GoldenEye and first-person shooters?” With unease, I remembered the gun in the kitchen.

For some reason, though, he laughed. 

“What?”

“Sorry, this is just not a conversation I’ve ever had with a girl in my apartment.”

I glanced away, feeling my cheeks flush with childlike embarrassment. “No, it doesn’t sound like you do a lot of talking when you have girls in your apartment…”

“Uhh, how would you know?” He seemed more amused than anything. 

I sighed. “One day, I was passing by, and you obviously had company. Loud company.”

“Fuck,” he said softly.

“On the bright side, with how thin these walls are, someone will definitely hear if you get murdered!” Okay, pump the brakes on the defense mechanisms, girl. “Sorry, disregard! You’re gonna be just fine, and I’m gonna stop talking now!” I awkwardly went back to flipping through Nintendo Power and we sat in silence for a few minutes. I really hoped he wasn’t dwelling on the whole “murder” thing.

“Hey, Emily. You know REM?”

I looked up at him. “Like, the group?” 

He nodded. 

“Of course?”

“No, it’s just that I was out with this girl the other night, and she didn’t know ‘What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?’”

“Weird.”

“Yeah, she was probably born in the ‘90s or something.”

“Ugh,” I shuddered. “We just hired a girl at work who was born in 1991.” Sam recoiled in disgust. “I know. Same.”

“1991 before or after REM was on SNL?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. What a way to mark time! “Um… after. REM must have been on SNL in early ’91, and this girl was born in the summer.”

He was watching me, a smile forming. “They were on SNL in April. How did you figure that out?”

I laughed bashfully, staring at my hands, fiddling with my rings. “Because I would have been in first grade then, and I remember walking around my first grade classroom singing ‘Shiny Happy People.’ That was my jam. Dare I say ‘obsession’? And my mom had taped their SNL performance, so I watched it religiously.”

“No way! Fuck! I have a VCR,” he said, pointing across the room. “Do you have the tape?”

“No, not with me,” I said, laughing. “Believe it or not, I didn’t think to pack it when I moved across the country. But you could probably find the performance on YouTube.”

He scoffed. “That’s not the same.”

“Yeah, I know, I love tracking too, it’s the best.” I rolled my eyes, just openly teasing him at this point.

But he laughed! “Oh my god. Do you know how nice it is to be with someone who isn’t asking about bullshit like work, making me feel ancient, or trying to hurt me?”

I just stared at him. “Who are you friends with, dude?”

We both started laughing.

“You might be better off going it alone.” I didn’t realize what I’d walked into at first, but then he grinned at me and started to sing, softly, timidly, and I joined in:

“’Go it alone

Hold it along

Haul it along

And hold it….’”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “everything feels half a world away these days.”

I hesitated, then lightly nudged his hand with my knee. “But not everything is.”

He smiled. “You really came down here because I seemed freaked out?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s very cool of you.”

I just shrugged, blushing. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep? And I’ll… read to you about Harvest Moon.” I waved that issue in the air. “That should put you right to sleep, huh? A farming game walkthrough? Bor-ring!”

He smiled. “Okay, fine. I am pretty tired.” He sighed as he laid down on the couch.

While I flipped through to the right part of the magazine, he caught my hand. “Hey,” he said softly. “Why are you being so nice to me? Why don’t you think I’m crazy?”

I considered that. “Well, because there are people in my life who didn’t treat me like I was crazy when I was going through stuff and probably seemed fucking nuts.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah. Here.” I handed him a throw pillow from the floor, and he put it behind his head. “Okay, you ready?" I cleared my throat. "’You just bought the farm and now you have two and a half years to live off the fat of the land. Harvest Moon is Natsume’s farm fresh hybrid between a simulation and a role-playing game. The object of this game is to turn around a run-down farm and find happiness before your parents return.’”

“That doesn’t sound so bad, really,” Sam murmured, his eyes starting to close. “Living in the middle of nowhere and finding happiness?”

“Yeah, it really doesn’t.” 

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

October is almost here!! Any idea what the mercs would dress up as to celebrate halloween?

Love your writing :D

TF2 Mercs Halloween Costumes!

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I'm gonna cry I love Halloween and I'm also really glad you like my writing 😭

Mutual appreciation comment: Thank you for such a fun request and thank you for being a mutual, ily 💖

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I tried super hard to come up with originals ones and not like opt out into easy costumes, I sorted through many a costumes and my god some were so bad.

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Demo dresses up as the Grim Reaper and doesn't hold back on making his costume as scary as he can. Like this man is going to make at least one kid piss themselves. His costume gives people (Scout) Nightmares. It's even scarier/funnier when he gets drunk and starts stumbling around and groaning, looks like he's about to actually harvest someone's soul. The other mercs end up having to carry him home, and apologizing to multiple angry parents, Demo is only allowed to wear less scary costumes or at least not get wasted while wearing a scary one.

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Engie and Pyro have to go together, I'd be so wrong not to put them down as having a duos costume. Kronk and Yzma, please it's such a funny concept to have Engie as an evil (semi) mastermind and Pyro as a well meaning but slightly dumb sidekick. I just love this idea so much. Their so silly going trick or treating together, people are a little freaked out by them but it's all in good fun I'm sure. If anyone dares say anything about them being "to old." there will be hell to pay from Engie.

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Heavy is Michaels Myers, I just think this fits so well? Like? I don't know how to elaborate on this one other than the fact that he'd play the part so well. Also, if we're talking about the fear factor like we did with Demo, and costume this man wears is terrifying everyone, it just so happens that dressing up as Michael Myers yielded the most terrifying reaction. Made kids cry, felt bad about it, probably went back to the base after that happened, or just took off the mask. Gets made fun of for this for at least a month afterwards.

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I have rewrote this for Medic at least six times now. I want this man to dress up as a nurse so bad it's not even funny. I'm going feral over here guys, I'm using all my restraint to not go into graphic detail about Medic being a nurse for Halloween. But for this prompt I will attempt to be a normal and sane human being, and go with an almost cliché, I think he'd be a plague doctor for Halloween. He loves his job, what can I say, of course it'd transition over to his Halloween costume. I think he'd also just like the look of it, and it doesn't help that this man is a history nerd who was obsessed with the plague. Dresses up Archimedes as a tiny plague doctor so he can take him with, introduces Archimedes as his assistant. Also manages to get the bird head tilt thing on point and pull that move every so often to freak people out.

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Scout is going as Beetlejuice. I think he'd be able to act as gross and silly as Beetlejuice. ALSO kind of obscure but not really, in an episode of The Amazing World of Gumball, Gumball dresses up as Beetlejuice while scamming the entire city of candy and I honestly saw that and though, oh yeah scout would do that. Like my man manages to get as much candy as he possibly can, he is ruthless. Accidently uses semipermanent hair dye instead of the washout stuff and has green hair for about six months after Halloween.

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Sniper was planning to just go as he was, Scout begs him to dress up, it being traditional and all. Decides he's pretty much dressing like a cowboy at all times anyway, so why now just roll with it? Manages to beat the system with this one, and bearly puts on anything new for his costume. Makes a lasso buys a sheriff star and some boots and deems his outfit complete. Scout is mildly disappointed but still happy he could at least convince him to dress up.

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Is it to much if I say Spy would be a princess for Halloween? Is it too much if I say a specific Disney princess? I mean it's not my fault that Cinderella is so iconic, and that Spy would slay so hard in that dress, like come on, I can't stop putting him in dresses now. If that's not what people wanted they wouldn't have made the art of Spy in a dress. And you know this man has the glass heels, takes dressing up very seriously. Maybe even makes a couple of stuffed mice to keep on his dress to make it look more accurate to the movie, who knows.

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I think it would be so funny if Soldier dressed up like a revolutionary soldier, but I won't go for something so easy, I refuse. I'll say he'd dress up as a werewolf, but with a twist, he's a were-raccoon! He'd make the costume himself and be so proud. Shows it to his raccoon pals (I don't know if this was someone's headcanon or actual canon but either way, I agree he has pet raccoons), and they cheer.

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Sorry it's not super long! I don't know why my headcanons have gotten less detailed, maybe the brain rot is that severe, but I still loved doing this one. and I'm glad I could at least get this one done!

I promise one of these days I'll get back into being able to do longer posts!

Love you guys 💖

[shallowseeker]

okay so, yesterday I found your spn meta by chance and fell in love with them 'cause more than writing they're like images, like they really depict things and I just immediately understand what you mean instantly + I started to rewatch Steve Yockey's episodes 'cause I feel like I like his writing (lots of queer! lots of rom-com references! but it's all done so intellingently, I love it!) but ALSO sometimes it doesn't translate to me + I just saw you wrote about "Optimism"= I GOTTA ASK: what's your take on "Optimism"? I don't understand what the Zombie story and the Musca one should reveal about the characters. Visually, it looks like the Musca = Charlie, so Harper and the zombie are ??? I'm mad at myself 'cause I don't seem to get what the show is telling me so I'm hoping you can share what the show tells YOU and, vicariously, I can get it as well (lol). THANK YOU!

Hi! Hello!

Oh, really? That's so cool. I still have trouble thinking of myself as a "meta writer." I don't mean to be. I just like to ramble. But cool! It's probably mostly that we think alike and are sympatico in some key ways. :-) Always fun to find kindred spirits!

///

O P T I M I S M

I have so many thoughts on Optimism. It's one of my fave episodes! I actually did a re-watch-slash-convo with some friends on Discord and just transcribed the very, very, very LOOONG bulk of it today!

I haven't written much on the Musca. After spending a lot of time of @scoobydoodean's blog, I've just about decided the Musca plot is actually a Sam's emotions-through line more than it is a true dark mirror. Even AU Charlie is cheeky about it:

AU CHARLIE (annoyed at Sam, about the Musca): Your nifty metaphor has holes.

Basically, Charlie is saying that mirrors aren't one-to-one, and that trying to force-fit them into being one-to-one can be super annoying sometimes.

//

CHARLIE - Every two hundred years there is "bad egg". When a male fails to find a mate, he abandons his community and starts using peoples bodies to "nest". Binding them together with a viscous goo. And when the goo fits...

//

The Musca/fly is at face-value:

A) A bodysnatcher plot: In that regard, it could be like all angels, demons, or anyone inhabiting a body. (Cas, Lucifer, Michael, Crowley, etc.) Ergo, it's a dark, uncharitable Cas mirror the way Dave Mathers outlaw wraith was in Tombstone. It could be saying that Cas "failed" among "his own people" and cruelly took up space in a human body. But that would be grossly oversimplifying the whole situation, saying that Cas "should have stayed with his people," which ofc doesn't work.

It, as Charlie says, "has a lot of holes." @ilarual has written a lot about the totalitarian structure of Heaven. And Sam himself wants Cas around. As far as metaphors go, it's a dud for Cas.

B) It's a failure to thrive plot: Because the Musca "failed" in The Real World with its Own People, perhaps failed to live up to The prescriptive Dream of Success (TM), now it's wreaking havoc on others.

Sam himself "failed out" of Harvard. He "choked." Kevin Train and Patience Turner are also Failed Gifted Students. Losers who didn't live up to their potential. This could even apply to Chuck, binding together his characters because he's a Loser with a capital L.

///

ANYWAY, I feel like the Music plot is a "red herring" for a few reasons.

One: The main Harper plot is about breaking narratives, about not relying so much on books. And then Charlie says this:

CHARLIE: Goo. So, yeah. I'd say this is the right place. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what we are dealing with. Thus, books.

Aside: Later Cas says sarcastically in Ouroboros that Sam and Rowena, "Have many, many books."

So, there's this niggling indictment of trying to find too much truth in books...

///

Two: Sam has a tendency to see something and, like, imprint on it. He tends to fall into "It's just like me!" instead of speaking frankly about the present situations and emotions.

*In American Nightmare, he sees Madga Peterson, an abused child* -> "She's just like me!"

*In Somewhere in Between Heaven and Hell, he sees someone lying about something completely unrelated to his current situation* ->"Omg, they're lying to them, like I'm lying to Dean! It's just like me!"

*In Lost & Found, he meets Jack Kline, who is Lucifer's son "OMG, he's just like me!" -> *spoiler alert* Jack is not in fact much like Sam at all. -> Sidenote: instead of speaking frankly about how Dean is grieving, how Lucifer killed Cas and likely killed Mary, he uses complex euphemisms with Jack, ones that actually obscure the reality of the situation! This winds up annoying Jack and making him pull away from Sam.

///

IMHO...Sam isn't...naturally all that great with emotions.

He tries really, really hard, and he loves patterns, but he's always seeming to force-fit situations and scenarios into neat little boxes so he can passively-aggressively use it to indirectly communicate something he feels about himself.

He has a very cognitive empathy style. Bless him.

///

So what's REALLY going on here?

Well. In this episode, he wants Charlie to stay. He wants Charlie to stay and fill a void the other Charlie left behind. He wants Charlie to stay really, really badly. And he beats around the bush about it.

At first, he sidesteps his own emotions by passive-aggressively implying that it's Dean that in fact needs her.

CHARLIE: He'll be fine. Your brother, I mean. He's got other friends, right? SAM: Plenty. Uhm, he used to have a pretty damn good wingman. CHARLIE: So call that guy to check on him. SAM: That guy was you. CHARLIE: No, it wasn't. SAM: Right, I, uh, sorry. I didn't mean that.

And then by trying to make the case fit her.

He's very indirect and weird about it. Because he's Sam. (It's a contrast to the effortless, awkward-but-honest communication style we see from characters like Jack and Dean in this very episode.)

SAM: Charlie, you can't just quit and go live on a mountain somewhere. People need people. CHARLIE: Why? Cause they're the luckiest people in the world? SAM: Look, come on. We just do. We're social animals. CHARLIE: Emphasis on animals. SAM: Yeah, but you're also a hunter. The things that we've seen, it's not so easy to just walk away from it all. Believe me, I've tried. Our Charlie tried. CHARLIE: Yeah, well again, she ain't me. It's my life, Sam. Not hers. And not yours.

Ah, yes. Instead of saying, “I want you here,” it’s, “people need people.”

And Hell, sometimes indirect communication works! Like how Dean and Cas use Felix the snake to indirectly communicate with Jack in Peace of Mind!

But the difference with Sam is...he's not using this indirect communication style to find out how Charlie feels (the way Dean and Cas use the snake to suss out how Jack feels).

No, he's using the whole thing to try to tell Charlie what he thinks is best for her! To tell her things, not find out things.

Eventually, he breaks and says what he actually thinks, but only after AU Charlie is starting to lose her patience with him:

SAM (faux-sadly): Got to say, I do feel kind of bad for the Musca. I mean, he could have been happy if he'd stayed with his people. Didn't have to go off on his own just because... CHARLIE (exasperated): Okay, I get it. I am just like the bug and I shouldn't go out on my own.

OMG, Sammy! It's okay if we want to hit Sam sometimes, right? I too wanted to hit him after he said this to Charlie.

CHALIE: But your nifty metaphor has holes. I wasn't looking for love. I found it and I lost it. And I didn't kill people and literally nest in their body parts so...(Scene cuts to other Musca removing the body of the dead one) SAM: Okay, yeah I know, I know, How about this? Don't leave. 

(Aside// I think this is a cheeky nod to the fact that Cas and Dean weren't looking for love either. In fact, they tried (and keep trying) really, really hard not to love each other. Their real life was faaaar more complicated than some simple "bodysnatcher plot.")

But thank God--Sam finally says outright what he needed to say to Charlie: Don't leave.

Now, it probably would've been better if he's gone a step further: "I don't want you to leave," but for Sam, this is pretty good progress.

SAM: Hear me out. Sure some people can do bad things when they're desperate or scared. But the guy we just saved, he has a wife and children. I'm not saying that all people are good people or even that most people are but if we help people then maybe they'll help people and all that. And that's worth it. Even with all the tears and death. It's worth it. CHARLIE: Just to be super clear, I am not like the fly monster. (Sam chuckles) But, I'll think about staying.

So I think OVERALL the Musca plot is really about highlighting Sam's difficult communication style, and I think it's intentionally being cheeky about it how it's using a "really "dumb metaphor" with gaping holes!

It's about how Sam tries to force-fit the case of the week into saying what he wants it to say...instead of just saying it.

///

I think Sam has a little bit of a "mental main character syndrome." He sees a scenario and moves directly into cognitive empathy, reading the situation and thinking:

How can I apply this to myself? Or make it a stand-in for either something I want to believe about myself or a stand-in for something I want to say indirectly?

Sometimes you'll see ppl insist that Sam is the "MC" because every storyline tells you "something about Sam." But I'm more in the camp that it's Sam's inherent cognitive style of empathy at work, desperately reworking anything and everything to make it apply to himself.

Whereas Cas and Dean (and Jack) have a truer emotional style of empathy, connecting with people for who they actually are, as they are.

That's not to say that both styles can't be manipulative when we want them to be. But Sam really struggles with his style in a way I feel like Dean and Cas do not. Dean and Cas perhaps don't even realize what effective communicators they actually are!

///

My other thoughts on Optimism:

[hulknussen]

yeah, agree with you on most points. I was interested in nico because of his unusual surname and the commentators praising his performance, got into haasbands after the Euros pic, then reading your posts made me really appreciate them both as people and not just a random ship or a trend. Honestly I find it hard to post stuff or write stuff because I feel like I'm not really capturing the essence of them or I don't know how to connect one event to another. It just doesn't flow well or make sense. The one fic I wrote was super rushed towards the end and super super cheesy and I just couldn't make it feel right for them. And I've been busy and just don't know how to put the words down so that they all mean something. Idk, just want to share this I guess. You're the patron saint of hulknussen and I really really enjoy your work. Thank you!

I'm glad to hear my posts could help you get into them! it's honestly somewhat wild to me because I still feel new to f1 as a fandom instead of just as a sport and feel new to f1blr and f1 rpf on ao3 and all of that- point being, I do post with the intention of trying to get them to more people and make things more approachable for new fans/old fans who didnt look at kevin/nico/them before but I didn't think it actually worked.

and I definitely understand the fear with writing something new and posting for the first time. there's also absolutely zero pressure to post it at all--I've found that idea to be very helpful for me when I was, uh, deathly afraid of putting anything out there lmao. writing and telling myself that I won't post it anyway helped a lot with the mental block. to be honest the way I approach writing and how I write has improved and changed so drastically over the past year or so it's kind of insane.

when I mention that there aren't a lot of people creating for them I never do it to guilt or shame anyone into writing them. anything you'd like to share I'm sure will go over much better than you anticipate (in my experience that's always what happens). and if you prefer not to share at all that is just as fine! fanfic should always be fun first, everything else is secondary. do you know how often I make my readers put up with some needlessly specific characterization or au just because I Could And Wanted To TM? I promise if you do decide to write and post--whatever it is, even if it's "mischaracterized" or "too cheesy"--there will be an audience for it. maybe just a small one, but there will be one.

[multicolour-ink]

Hi there multicolor!

I've recently refound alot of your mario multi universe questions and answers! And I got to say I love them all so much genuinely since I really love the super show and 1993 mario movie so I not only wanted to thank you for making those but I also wanted to share some of my own findings of the super show specifically because I know you recently saw and liked my post about the super shows and game marios height which are these images.

Where I said the heights for the super show were 4'11 for mario, 6'1 for luigi, 6'2 for toadstool, 3'4 for Toad (yes I figured out what it was) and 6'2 for koopa

Well now I have something new to add to this that I will be telling paino eventually too and that is a good while ago just for fun I was looking up to see if anyone who worked on the super show was still alive and most if not all the writers, producers and creator are still alive and while looking this up I saw that a few of the writers who worked on super show had an instagram! Now when I saw that I decided to shoot my shots and text some of these writers instagram accounts if any of them would be able to answer my questions about the super show. Now I will say this I was polite and did apologize just in case there were fake accounts or just normal accounts that just so happened to show up when I looked up writers of the super show. Now all be honest I really didn't expect any replies tbh with you because to these amazing writers I'm just a person that not only just randomly text them out of no where but also asked them about a silly little mario cartoon in the late 80s so I really didn't expect an answer. But a day later Phil Harnage the man who not only wrote for many cartoons like Sailor moon, He-man, She-ra, Sonic underground, Super Show, Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario World etc but also wrote the episode for mama luigi....MAMA LUIGI GUYS! Here's a screen shot of him answering my insta text! (also I got permission for me to send these screen shots and share this conversation so i'm fine!)

I. WAS. SHOCKED I wasn't expecting an actual reply! As a Super Show fan I was ESTATIC I had sooooo many questions for him and he did deliver well on most of them anyway 😅

Now I had ALOT of questions to ask him but for this reply I'll keep it on theme of this reply which was super show character heights!

Now when I originally did my height chart I knew I wasn't a hundred percent right because all I did was watch the show and look at some side by side views of the characters when and if it happened. So that and a mixture of using the height chart I got my results which you already know about.

So when I asked him this question I was REALLY happy and surprised with what he said! Take a look! ( the purple is me and the white is Phil )

I. WAS. SO. HAPPY! I was really close you guys! Like that means my guess for Mario, Luigi, and Toad are most likely spot on or one inch difference! The only ones I we're more off we're toadstool and koopa which yeah I could see why possibly so that means Toadstool is mostly likely Luigi's height 6'1 instead of my guess which was 6'2 and koopa was most likely 6'3 or 6'4 but that's still iffy but there REALLY close to what I guess! Which again made me really happy as a Super Show fan!.

Now I asked him ALOT more questions but this ask is already long so I won't put them here but I felt like I HAD to put this last screen shot here so take a look!

Use this information as you like :)

But thank you so much for reading this LONG ASS REPLY it really means alot to me as not only a Super Show fan but as a Mario fan in general you're fanfics and AUs are incredible! And really do help the community alot. I also hope this information helps anyone who wants to make Super show stuff or just au material at all because I want to see more Super show and 1993 mario fan stuff guys I know we can do it!

Again thank you for reading this and have a fantastic day/night!

Thank you for writing to me and saying you apprecaite my stuff, @savagegirl1930 😊 It means a lot to hear that.

I will leave your findings here for everyone to see. It's all very interesting!

[sineala]

is there any fic of yours that you hold dear and that went under the radar a bit? ❤️

Ooh! Interesting question! (Also I have a bunch of your fic bookmarked and have not yet read it; I am looking forward to getting around to it but also my brain has decided that it hasn't wanted to read or write much of anything since early 2020 and I am very slowly regaining the willpower to read and write fiction but apparently reading is taking longer than writing. So I apologize to you and anyone else has who has written fic since then. It's not you; it's me?)

Anyway! I am sorting my fic by reverse kudos order. It looks like my least popular work either has sad endings, is super short, or just hasn't had as much time to accumulate kudos as something I wrote a decade ago, which is fair. Like, I feel like at some point people will come read Tabula Rasa because eventually they will be unable to resist the lure of 40,000 words of fluff about one guy who used to be in an iceberg and another guy who used to be a sad brain in a jar, but it's only been a year. And I think people will come read Cold Front after I eventually finish writing the series and can deliver on a happy ending, though this is clearly going to take me years. I have so many depressing books about some combination of being gay, the 80s, and NYC to read as research. Also actual canon, lol.

So once you exclude that kind of thing, I think the stuff I am proud of that didn't get as much traction tends to be stuff like remixes. And I also get why people skip remixes, but I have several that I have done that I think hold up on their own, which possibly means I don't understand how to write remixes, but whatever:

Armistice (The Nothing Else Matters Remix) is a DreamVision/Inception fusion of what was originally a MCU story. I moved it to Noir/616. Noir Tony has to get inside Steve's mind to wake him up, except... this guy isn't the Steve he knows. A 616 Civil War fix-it.

Breaking Point (The Abort, Retry, Fail Remix) is actually super fucking sad because it's a remix of a story of Kiyaar's where Steve murders Tony during Avengers #29. At least, he thinks he does. Tony ends up in a coma and then with amnesia. The original was Tony's POV but I kept wondering what the hell was going through Steve's head this entire time so I wrote this. I got out a lot of words about my feelings about Steve's characterization in Hickmanvengers, though.

Hour of Greatest Need (The Left to His Own Devices Remix) is another POV swap remix of a Steve POV story about that What If where Doom strands Tony in Camelot. I wrote the Tony POV; it was fun to write a character who has presumably read a bunch of science fiction and is trying to game out time travel.

If You Want to Live (The Historical Present Remix) is a time-travel 616 Civil War fix-it (yeah, we all have favorite genres) that was originally a MCU story where Bucky attempts to time-travel and murder Tony. This was not what I turned it into.

See You at the Bitter End (The Rest of the Rainbow Remix) is a 616 Civil War fix-it that I swear has a happy ending but also I think I killed Steve four times first.

Wonders of the World (The Keep Me Safe from Harm Remix) is an early v4 PWP which I read Secret Avengers and Fraction IM in order to write, which was when I discovered that Steve really hates black-ops, which was not something fandom had expressed to me. So it's a PWP about how much Commander Rogers hates his job. Weirdly, this is not the only story I have that I would describe as this.

I have more remixes than this, but I think these are the ones that probably hold up on their own.

Thank you for the question, though! This was fun.

[savventeen]

OOH IF YOU'RE STILL TAKING ASKS FOR THE TROPE THING can i get vernon and like you two are assigned partners on an art project but he's awful at art LMFAO okay thank love you xx

JJ BELOVED HI HELLO I AM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO THIS <333333

okay first of all i LOVE this idea skfjllkdfl this would definitely be a fun, comedic, romcom nonsense fic hehehe

i'm picturing this being set in like, a fucking calculus class and this project is the professor's way of trying to "bring more creativity to the sciences" or whatever. and vernon's just like. 'dude. how on earth is making a collage...sculpture...thing... supposed to help me learn calculus???' no one in the class really gets it either, since they can just, you know, do the math without having to create anything. but whatever, a little arts n crafts never hurt anyone [spoiler alert: it maybe hurts someone *cough*vernon*cough* a little at some point]

anyway, vernon ends up being partnered up with reader who, thank god, actually has an idea for what they can do for their project and also talks like someone who knows about art. in fact, they seem really into art and like, super pumped for this project. which is great! except, they're also really cute? and like, they're maybe kinda sorta the person he's been lowkey crushing on from afar since last semester???

and because having a crush sometimes makes you say/do stupid things, he tells reader that he can totally help with the art portion, easy peasy. [narrator voice: it was not, in fact, easy peasy] queue montage of the week leading up to when they're supposed to meet up again: - vernon desperately watching all kinds of youtube videos trying to learn how to Art™️ - him walking into a Michael's and just being so lost and overwhelmed that he just. has a bit of an existential crisis in the fabric section - he somehow manages to accidently cut himself with a pair of scissors while trying to do some kind of papercraft thing and has to go to the nurse's office. - his roommate (let's make it chan for funsies) is convinced that he's having some kind of mental breakdown "hyung, i don't know what to do, he's just staring at a pile of children's playdough like it holds the secrets of the universe. or maybe like it killed his pet goldfish. i don't know, he's just being weird."

all of this leads up to when reader and vernon meet up again to present their 'prototypes' of the art part of the project so they can decide which they like better and then start actually working on it. reader is already at the cafe they agreed to meet at, and vernon (sleep deprived and already overly caffeinated) walks up to where reader is sitting, drops his sad attempt at art on the table, and blurts "i lied about being good at art because you're really cute and it broke my brain a little bit and i'm actually really, really bad at it. i'm so sorry." and then he fucking WALKS AWAY because he's a LOSER and you were extra cute today and his brain is still a bit broken and reader ends up having to chase him down the street, his shitty attempt at art clutched in one hand, to tell him that it's fine, they can handle the art part as long as he does his fair share of the math

"and like. maybe i could, teach you? sometime? if you want to learn, that is. and i'm not the best artist, but i've taught some summer camp classes before, and—" / "wait, you'd really wanna do that? after seeing how bad at it i am?" / "well... it means i'd get to spend some extra time with you outside of school, so... yeah"

vernon of course readily agrees, and they start going on little art dates together (and yes, they're Date dates bc vernon finally gets his shit together and asks them out) and they get a solid B- on the project bc while reader is great at art, turns out neither of them are the best at math rip </3

[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]

[zetsho]

rambling about honkai star rail

The writing in 2.1 of HSR is kind of funny to me, because yeah it's literally Honkai Impact 3rd style writing. Which makes sense, of course. But it also makes everything prior, especially the Xianzhou Luofu "story", feel like a completely different game.

The Aventurine POV storyline was reminding me A LOT of HI3rd scenes. The Honkai team loves speedrunning character development by doing inner world talks. It's not great writing, I don't think? But I'm a total sucker for exactly that sort of thing, so it's no surprise I loved 2.1 and got so into the characters of HI3rd. It's effective and fast, and these lads are on a tight schedule. You can't really weave complex characterization into the narrative when you have to juggle 50 other characters who have a banner coming that you better make sure people love and shell out cash for or it's over.

Anyway, Honkai is just a vibe and tbh I'm happy HSR is exuding that vibe cuz I don't think I'll ever meet anyone I can gush about HI3rd with, but HSR? Absolutely. I'm here. I'm ready to cry my eyes out.

So yeah what is it with me going for the character who becomes a super hard boss fight that gets nerfed and has particular attention from the writers anyway? I'm drawn to the protag energy, I guess. (Also I was kinda slow getting to the fight, so I think I missed fighting the boyfriend pre-nerf again? Sad...) When I liked his vibes from his first reveal in the pre-penacony stream, I wasn't expecting he'd get this much love or depth. I would have just been happy if he was, you know, interesting, had another fun side to him or something. Boy's gone and become possibly the most popular character in Penacony (though no way he can beat Acheron, right? I mean, that's a Raiden Mei).

I've been meaning to draw fanart for.... WEEKS now, but I keep not doing that. Gah. That's how I've ended up with THIS dang text wall. Big sigh. I should chill on any ambitious illustration ideas and just doodle... but also whenever I decide that, I don't go beyond doodling anyway. I really don't know what's blocking me. Whatever. If I manage to have fun doodling the Aven being a goober, maybe it'll set me off and I'll become an art fiend. <-wishful thinking lol

Wellp, dunno why you read this, but thanks for hearing me out. I'm gonna now... eat breakfast. And do stuff.

[avemstella]

Random fic updates because I realize it's been a while for all my fics and wanted to let yall know.

I've actually written a lot! I just suffer from much of it being scattered about, so it's not remotely postable until I write the stuff to bring all the pieces together haha.

Most notably, my Neuvi fic is the worst offender of that. I've written what is probably 20k of it (about half is in a notebook so that's why it's an estimate) and uh, it's nowhere near done, good lord. I've written the beginning, a ton of the end, and some random middle bits (of that is 5k of Neuvi interacting with 2 characters who were not in the draft pfft). While I'm loving it, it also was driving me mad, so I've taken a break to write smfwtwd, as I really didn't mean to leave u guys hanging on that cliffhanger for so long lol. Also, I've decided the Neuvi fic will have multiple chapters, probably 3 (I really underestimated how much room I would need for the different parts of his life).

On smfwtwd, it's going really well! I've written a bunch this week and I think I should be done within the week (though with posting I do have to account for editor sister's schedule). A bunch is in a notebook, so word count is ??? but I do think it'll be, while not short by any metric, just for the time it took to come out it's not massive. But I do really like what I've written so far, Dottore is so fun to write haha (also the continued saga of Childe having to grapple with family issues both his own and everyone around him pfft).

I'm sorry Venti fic u will come out when u come out. I think I'll work on a chapter (or two or whatever) right after smfwtwd chap, or I'll finish the first Neuvi chap and then work on it. We shall see. You've been on my brain a lot lately, and I've been super tempted to add a whole extra arc to this fic because of my Fontaine related brainrots. But while I do think it would be really good and does help set up something nicely, I also think it would really fuck up my pacing (not that my pacing is great in the first place, but it would be a big pain to make work without really derailing the narrative for a couple chapters), so I think I'll restrain myself. However, saying that there is a real chance there will be a side story to my side story at some point pfft.

But yeah, if anyone's curious, between my warring desires to write smfwtwd and all my Furina ideas at the same time, going home for a while for christmas, and a slew of other smaller things, my writing schedule has been a mess pfft. Also, there's an incredibly high chance I'm getting a dog and that's been a whole thing that's been highly distracting. Also blame ace attorney haha (to clarify no fic for that coming at all, I've just been finally going through all the games).

Anyway, while that is a lot, I currently feel a lot better about my plan for writing and stuff should hopefully be coming out semi-soon. Thank you for being patient!

[topperscumslut]

are u ever gonna post the impractical jokers 90s au

ok ok so i was kinda hesitant to post it just bcuz it’s very… not well written lol. and i wasn’t really sure if anyone would actually want to read it but it seems like there actually is a demand for it so here y’all go ig 🤷🏻‍♀️

so i wrote this when i was 14 when one of my irl best friends introduced me to her online best friend who was also obsessed with impractical jokers and we decided to start a fan account on instagram and write a self insert fic together ab us going to HS in the 90s and meeting the jokers (even tho i ended up doing all of the writing which i was actually kinda happy about lmao). so you can very much tell that a 14 yr old wrote it and a lot of the plot doesn’t make sense lmaooo but im just gonna post it as it is and not try to edit it to make it sound better or anything. for now im just gonna post it chapter by chapter which is something i haven’t done before cuz i usually only write one shots nowadays so yea just lmk if y’all wanna be added to a taglist!!! but yea anyway here y’all go.

masterlist for this fic

chapter 1 word count: 475

Intro

The year is 1994. Two best friends are going back to high school after winter break, one of which newly single and sure no one could replace her so-called “Mr. Right” - until the pair meets four boys from Staten Island who just might change their worlds forever. Prepare for something amazing.

Chapter 1 - Stupid Boy

Sarah and Kendall hadn’t seen each other for weeks due to a fun, yet long, Christmas break. Both had been super busy and weren’t able to see each other or any of their other friends since school got out. The two girls hugged and greeted each other at their lockers, before greeting their friend Jasmyn the exact same way.

The three friends stood at Kendall’s locker as she put away her coat and her water bottle, the group of them talking and laughing about everything that they’d done over break.

“Guess what guys?” Jasmyn said, “I have a new crush!”

“That’s great,” Kendall sighed, forcing a smile.

“Oh no, Jasmyn, really?” Sarah said, “K, are you alright?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so. I mean Andy’s a great guy. He never meant to hurt me, so I shouldn’t let it get to me anyway. I mean, isn’t that what we both want?”

“Yeah, true. But we’re here for you.”

Kendall smiled and opened her mouth to thank the girls before hearing an eerily familiar laugh behind her. It was Andy, her ex.

The ex-lovers made eye contact for not even half a second before Kendall looked away, tears in her eyes.

“I, um,” she sniffled, “oh, I really have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” She ran off to the girl’s bathroom at the end of the hall, and didn’t even have time to lock herself in a stall before bursting out into tears like Niagara Falls. How did Andy have this effect on her?

She wiped up her tears with a scratchy paper towel, wishing she had tissues in her backpack. And wishing she had never met that stupid boy that broke up with her over the phone.

“Thank God for waterproof mascara, am I right?’

“Hey, hey, guys, did you hear that?”

Shit! She thought, Someone heard me.

She peeked outside to see a group of four boys, the voice had belonged to the ferret-like one, sandwiched between one with long, dark hair and thick eyebrows - Sarah’s type - and a handsome one with striking green eyes that she could both see and feel the empathy in.

Oh no no no, please don’t see me! Calm down, Kendall. It’s not like they could come in anyways.

“I think it was just your imagination, Murray,” the final boy said.

Thank God, Kendall thought as Sarah burst through the bathroom door, wrapping an arm around her, the four boys now lost from her mind - for the time being.

[kenobster]

I haven’t seen you post anything on ao3 since July, did I miss something??? (referring to your zero notes zero kudos post)

No, you didn't miss anything on my ao3. I've just been going through an Anakin whump phase on my tumblr lately (with answers to asks and miscellaneous posts and fanart -- some of which I already deleted when they got 0 notes, including a fanart I posted today. So even if you go looking, you wouldn't find all of them). So because of that, whether or not it's true, it personally feels like ppl aren't interested in certain things I'm excited about (tho the like.... three or four people who have shown interest, tyvm). And I'm really grateful to everyone who has read my fics on ao3. If I didn't have that huge bewildering amount of support to fall back on, I'm sure I'd be a lot worse off. So I greatly appreciate that. And at the very least, if all else fails, my mom will show support for all of my posts/fanart/fics lmao. Anyway, so I'm well aware lots of ppl dont have those things to rely on, so I'm hella not trying to take them for granted. ❤️ I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that so many people have said such kind and heartfelt things about my writing.

But there are certain things I still carry a lot of shame for liking. No one could ever make me feel ashamed about 5PE, but my biggest dream is to one day draw Anakin dubconnishly sucking Palpatine's dick. And my favorite fic universe to fantasize abt rn is the Vader Mpreg one. And those are things I do feel ashamed for liking at times. So when those are the things I post (currently on tumblr) that get 0 attention (esp when other things are getting attention), it sorta starts to reinforce the shame I'm already feeling.

Like, I spent 8 hours yesterday drawing that fanart I posted (which I deleted a few minutes ago). I skipped dinner and stayed late at work for 2 hours on Friday to finish writing this post on my work computer (bc my personal pc crashes if i try to make tumblr posts). Did I make either post to get notes? No. It was fun for me. Just the process of it was fun for me. I enjoyed myself so much!!! Totally worth it.

But do I regret posting them publicly instead of just keeping them for myself and my friends? ... Honestly, yeah, I kinda do.

Probably people did like the posts but are afraid to be seen liking things so dark and deranged. And like, that's okay, because I'm brave, I'm super brave, and I will be the first to post any deranged content out of any group of people. But I have limits, too. And if people are willing to read 5PE or shadow AU but not willing to read about Vader's uterus, then I start to feel less brave. :/ And I start to become demoralized over other things too.

Like, I was set to post chapter 10 of 5PE this weekend, but I haven't been able to work on it. Every Shadow, being less dark, is even harder to work on. Because if my perception is that ppl find me sick and grotesque and deranged for my most fucked up ideas (that's my perception, not necessarily reality), then it hurts to have my tamer content be supported instead.

Is that fair to yall? No, not at all. Am I trying to guilt trip anyone? Absolutely not. It's just a current unfortunate reality that's bumming me out, and there's not much anyone can do to change it. I just gotta let the feelings run their course.

Anyway thanks for reaching out anon. I feel better having been able to air all of this. Though I'll probably still step away to some extent (how long? who knows. The depressive episode will decide. But prob not for that long.

[norisbeinghuman]

I have decided to join a creative challenge called Alphabet Superset started by an artist and vlogger, Campbell Walker aka Struthless.

Now, I am seriously late to the party, because the challenge actually started almost exactly a year ago, and it's totally over, but I only found it now. Never mind!

The idea is to produces 26 pieces of art, one a week, using the letters of the alphabet as topics, while keeping the overarching theme the same and defining some style rules (to rule them all).

I decided to go for it because life is short and it sounds like fun and why not. So I will be writing short little stories on the theme of Myths, legends and fairy tales.

Here comes the first one:

A is for Aurora

Aurora was the prettiest girl at school. Like, for real. Cute face, long blond hair, really cheeky smile. And a really nice body too. Although, you really had to see her in gym class in shorts, ‘cause normally she would wear these weird-looking baggy clothes. Cool, don’t get me wrong, but yeah, thank god for old Sullivan who made everyone wear shorts to gym. Those legs, man! Anyway. She was, like, really cute, and I had a crush. Well, duh!

But there was a problem. You know that old song by One Direction, That’s what makes you beautiful, or something? How they sing that not knowing she’s beautiful makes a girl beautiful? Yeah? Well, bullshit, that’s what I say. They don’t know what they are talking about, cause trust me, I’ve been there. I had a crush on a girl that didn’t know how freaking good-looking she was, and the only thing that made her, was unavailable.

Just let me tell you about the day I finally worked up my courage and asked her out, and you know what happened?! No, wait. I am getting ahead of myself here. I need to set the stage a bit.

Aurora was not just cute-looking, you know. She was really nice too. Like, kind, I mean. She was nice to everyone, and friendly and super easy to talk to. She could hang out with anyone, joking and laughing, and it looked like she was friends with all. But not once during school did she date anyone.

I know I wasn’t the only guy who liked her. Not like everyone was into her, that’s not what I’m trying to say, right, but she was cute and kind and approachable, and… So yeah, a few guys liked her, but nobody, nobody, could get out of friend zone with her.

I was hoping I would. We would hang out with a group of friends all the time and I was really trying to show her I liked her. I tried to impress her by being funny and making her laugh, dropping compliments, texting her, talking about movies and video games we liked, walking her home all the time. And you know what? I could almost see it on her face that she. Did. Not. Get. It. At all. She kept being friendly and oblivious and I couldn’t even be mad at her for friend-zoning me, because she didn’t know she did it!

So, I decided to not be a chicken and just plain asked her out. I worked myself up, hardly slept the night before! There was a new superhero movie in the cinema and I thought that would be the golden opportunity. I was so nervous, man! I leaned in a bit – not threateningly, mind you, I practiced it beforehand, but don’t tell that to anyone – and popped the question as casually as possible, but trying to make it clear I was inviting her on, you know, a date.

Do you think it worked? Hell no! You would think she had to be as dense as a brick, but I swear, the girl is actually pretty smart otherwise. But this flew over her head like a Frisbee taken by the wind. She started asking about when we were going and to remember that Katie had a dentist on Wednesday, or Josh needed to get a perm that day, or something equally stupid and irrelevant. I really wanted to shake her at that point. I just asked her for a date, damn it, and she thought it was a group trip! I didn’t shake her, because duh, that’s not what you do.

I know I should have told her it was a date. But I couldn’t get myself to do it. I had this feeling like she was sleepwalking. Like her dream land didn’t quite overlap with reality. And you aren’t supposed to wake sleepwalkers, right?

Anyway. We went to see the movie with a bunch of friends, and I sort of gave up after that. I figured maybe she was ace or aro, or maybe she just didn’t like anyone at school that way, or whatever. I’m not the creepy kind of guy who doesn’t know when to stop.

We hung out in our friend group for the rest of that year – our last year of high school. I still walked her home sometimes. We still had fun. Honestly, I still had a crush, but I accepted the situation. Trying to get her to notice me in that way was like trying to crawl through some thorny bushes, like my grandma’s rose bushes that I kept losing my football in as a kid. They were pretty, prickly, and impenetrable. So I gave up.

But this story has a happy ending! Or at least a happy continuation, so bear with me.

Once upon a time, or rather, about a year later, I met her again. It was a random meeting in a coffee shop downtown. She walked in and straight into my line of vision, as I was working on some uni assignment on my laptop.

I almost didn’t recognize her, although she didn’t really look that different. Her clothes were still a bit funky, but her skirt was shorter than I have ever seen her in and there was just something about her. She looked so much more alive. Awake, almost. I can’t describe it.

I stared like stupid while she got her coffee and when she turned to leave, she noticed me and smiled a huge smile and my brain stopped for a moment, because. Wow. The crush was still there. She sat down at my table and we talked about how we were doing and all that crap you talk about with old friends you haven’t seen in ages.

Then she complimented my hair. And I went blank for a second. It’s not like she never gave me compliments before, ‘cause she did, she complimented people all the time. But this. This was different. She was looking at me, smiling and I got goosebumps. I opened my mouth, I’m not sure what I was going to say. Something smart, I am sure. But she spoke first. She asked me out to dinner! Holy cow! How the turn tables! There was something in her voice that made it clear to me that she meant a date. Like a real date. Not a friend date or something. I managed to nod. She said she had to go but would write to me later. And that was it. I mean, that was the beginning.

And we’ve been together since.

After a few months of dating, I told her about that time I tried to ask her out for a date to the movies and she totally misunderstood my intention. She was mortified. She said she really didn’t see it. Turned out she didn’t see the interest from the other guys either. She just thought we were all good friends. She thought nobody could possibly like her like that. I thought that was a bit sad, wondered what I could have done to make her see it back then. I asked her what had to change.

“I did,” she said. “I needed to wake up.”

(The image is Sleeping Beauty by Edward Frederick Brewtnall, with small modifications :) )

[tunawithsoysauce]

Day: 3???

17/4/24

Hiya!!!! Sorry i didnt write. Ive decided the most i'll pause the blog is three days. Also, shoutout to my sister that now reads this! Gonna be careful with what I put her now, haha. That's a joke. Er.

So! Hi. Been busy. With tests n stuff. Also kind of relapsed. 17 days and I throw it away. I c-t myself like an hour ago writing this too haha.

Well, I wont be pessimistic. I'll be fine. Its just a blip. I hope so, at least.

Enough about not-today-days. Here's my day today!!!

Woke up at six. Mentally prepared me for in total four hours of english exams. UGH. It sucked, but I did good. Anyways.

C-t myself in the morning. It was to prepare myself. I think. Yeah, it was.

I took the bus. I listened to some Weezer (Pinkerton, blue album, and green album!!!) And met Leija on my way from the bus station. She cheered me up so much. GOD I love her.

We settled in in the testroom thingie, and started. I got done super early (duh) and read Solitare (Alice oseman) for like 50 minutes. ITS SO GOOD. Ive read it at least eight times by now. But still. Epic. Book. (Sprolden AJSKSJDJ)

Me n Leija ate lunch. I actually ate (unlike any other day lmao) and it was fish burgers. Yuck. No im kidding. It actually tasted okay.

The rest of the break i just ran around with Leija. And Deim. I think I yelled so much my lungs would collapse. (Outside ofc)

And then the next test. It was super slow since we had to listen to some guy talking. BORING ASF. Anyways I fell asleep afterwards while the writing time was still going and Elsa woke me up.

I jumped around agressively and climbed a tree out of exitement. I scraped my knee falling from it :[

Anyways. We had homeroom (YUCK) and I was kind of riled up. Anxious. Whatever. My teacher looked at me and used his serious voice telling me to breathe. I rolled my eyes at him. But I was thankful.

Me and Leija just goofed off that lesson, lol. Not being annoying to anyone else ofc, just yk.

Then we had P.E. or well, I didn't. My wounds where fucking BOLTING and it hurt like HELL. I told my teacher. She looked at my wrist, looked at me, took me to another room and asked the standard stuff.

I answer truthfully.

(I downplayed it)

Anyways. She said a bunch of sentimental pitying stuff but then said:

"Nobody wants you to be gone."

And I resisted crying at that.

I spent the rest of the lesson watching Doctor who. Specifically any episode with Amy and River.

It was fun.

When It was over Leija asked if I wanted to walk around in the mall for a bit. Of course i said yes.

Deim came too.

Before we left i gave Sofia a hug.

She's practically my mum at this point.

Anyways. We sat in the mall for a while. We talked about pointless stuff. Leija gave me a cookie. I said I loved her. It was supposed to be a sort of joke.

She said it back.

Deim said they loved me too.

I hugged them and said it back.

Anyways. I went home. Bus. I took the pencil sharpener I stole from school and..

..figure out the rest.

Yep. I called my sister. I freaked out because I made it too deep. I got it to stop bleeding.

I don't have anymore urges right now, so ill be fine tonight.

Anyways. Orchestra tonight. Fun.

It'll be fun.